5 reasons why Youth stay in church

Last Thursday I went to a free lecture at Crandall University by Dr. Sam Reimer, on the top 5 reasons why youth don’t go to church. A lot of the books being written and talk around this has come from the hemorrhaging faith research, of which I was a part of the initial data collection in Atlantic Canada. :) It’s neat to sit and listen (or read) about trends that I can put faces to, of young adults I interviewed online and in coffee shops in the Annapolis Valley, and now it’s turned into data. Everyone has a story, but there are certainly similarities between them. For those who couldn’t get to the lecture, here’s a little summary of what Sam spoke about. Even though the lecture was called the top 5 reasons why youth leave, he did his talk describing the converse… 5 reasons why youth stay.

4 & 5) Missions Trips & Camps
Experiential faith matters. You can talk about Jesus all you want, but until youth see Him in action, it’s all just talk. Especially since authenticity reigns supreme for youth, they have to see it. In real time. So the next time your church offers a camp, retreat, or missions trip, get your kid on that. It’s worth the sacrifice, trust me. My call to ministry began in 2002 when I worked at camp for the first time and went on my first cross-cultural missions trip. I gave my life to Christ at a conference.

3) Youth Leader Relationships
When I was in Youth, we had 1 Youth Pastor and 30 kids and that was that. That doesn’t work anymore in establishing “sticky faith”. Youth crave relationship. These days, if you want to grow your youth ministry, you need 1 leader for every 5 kids. I visited a youth group in St John once that grew to over 150 kids. The Pastor said simply, he had to add a leader if he wanted to keep 5 more. Those relationships are so critical. Even though we had a 1–30 ratio, there were numerous adults in my church who I built relationships with through Sunday School, Band, and the like. They played a critical role in me sticking around. Position your kid to be making friends with adults at church. It’s one of the few places this can still happen, and it’s so important.

2) Committed Friends
Sam talked about spheres of influence for a kid, the 3 main ones being family, school, and church. These used to overlap more but in recent years there’s more of a divide. The more overlap you can create the better. Having friends at church (who also go to the same school) is a huge factor in if the kids will remain connected to church. Sometimes I hear people wonder if the fun stuff we do at Youth is a waste of time… knowing this makes me believe no, it’s not. Having fun together is important for developing friendships! #2 and #3 benefit when we have FUN at church (in addition to creating space to really develop and grow faith).

1) Parents… yup.
Guys, it’s really simple… the #1 influence on a child’s faith, from birth to young adult, is Mom & Dad. If you want your kids to have a strong faith, that actually affects how they live and what they do with their time/money/resources…. you have to model that and do it too. If your kid grows up knowing that if something comes up in the calendar on a Sunday, church is the first thing to automatically get the sack… then that’s how they’ll act as adults. Your child’s faith will be a mirror of your own. If that makes you panic, perhaps you need to talk with a Christian friend about your own faith development.

So that’s it. That’s what the lecture covered for the most part. It was nothing new for me, but I was so encouraged to see so many people in attendance! I think it’s fantastic that Crandall is offering these free lectures in the community. We become stronger when we become smarter, and wrestling with this stuff is critical if the church is going to survive going forward. I’ll end with links to some resources I have read on the subject which I found helpful:

• Generation Ex-Christian by Drew Dyck. This book looks at why young adults are leaving (the book describes 7 different categories of leavers), what caused them to leave, and how the church may be able to re-engage to bring them back.
• Church + Home by Mark Holman. This is the church leader’s book from the Faith@Home series, looking at how the family and church work together to instill lifelong faith in kids.
• You Lost Me by David Kinnamon. Haven’t read this one yet but it’s on my list! Why youth are leaving church and rethinking faith.
• Almost Christian by Kendra Creasy Dean. This one gets to what I think the heart of the matter is. The goal here is not church-going good kids… it is disciples of Christ! What I want to know is, has there been an exodus from the church, or are people just more authentic and real with what they claim to believe now? Are we done with the hypocrisy of the past?
• The Sticky Faith Guide for your Family by Kara Powell. Practical ideas to build lasting faith in your kids!
• Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner & Carey Nieuwhof. If you were at the lecture, I mentioned this in my comment… this book talks about creating a circle of influence around your child as they grow up.